Three years often feels like three months – missing our son.

In Jackson’s room today I flipped through his Bible. It is a kindness of the Lord to have preaching to sit under where our lives can be changed by his grace, beginning to act more like the greatness of the character of Christ as we know God.

From a sermon on this passage, Jackson captured the deep anguish and emotional turmoil that Paul experienced in this broken world. In another kindness of the Lord, God sent someone to encourage Paul’s faith and help him continue in hope during real brokenness.

I am glad today for the many people who have played this role for me and my family these last three long years – sitting long on this mourning bench with us in quietness.

There seems like a never ending, new list of things I miss, but today I list a few:

I miss…

Hearing his excitement for baseball

Hitting fly balls to him in this field

Pitching to him and watching the balls go over the fence (from this girls softball field 🙂

Having him here to follow the Cubs this season

– instead I have his lost baseball someone found after he hit it over this fence returned to me now on top of his grave.

“As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.” – Psalm 84:6

It is kind that God covers the desert in pools while we blister in broken waiting.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.


  1. How precious it is to get a glimpse of Jackson’s heart through the notes in his Bible. We think of him and all of you very often.

  2. Our God is a God of all comfort. He comforts us with His love and mercy so that we can be able to comfort others. May the God of comfort show up today in a mighty way that His love and mercy will be revealed in a big and new way. Amen.

  3. Hugs to all of you, Jodi. I sure have thought and prayed for all of you, especially around this time. May you continue to feel God’s loving arms around you!😀

  4. Although I’ve not had the privilege of meeting your family, Eric, I do pray for all of you. To see your precious son’s heart in the comments in his Bible is so very special. May God give extra comfort to you at this time. . .

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