Three years often feels like three months – missing our son.

In Jackson’s room today I flipped through his Bible. It is a kindness of the Lord to have preaching to sit under where our lives can be changed by his grace, beginning to act more like the greatness of the character of Christ as we know God.

From a sermon on this passage, Jackson captured the deep anguish and emotional turmoil that Paul experienced in this broken world. In another kindness of the Lord, God sent someone to encourage Paul’s faith and help him continue in hope during real brokenness.

I am glad today for the many people who have played this role for me and my family these last three long years – sitting long on this mourning bench with us in quietness.

There seems like a never ending, new list of things I miss, but today I list a few:

I miss…

Hearing his excitement for baseball

Hitting fly balls to him in this field

Pitching to him and watching the balls go over the fence (from this girls softball field 🙂

Having him here to follow the Cubs this season

– instead I have his lost baseball someone found after he hit it over this fence returned to me now on top of his grave.

“As they go through the Valley of Baca they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.” – Psalm 84:6

It is kind that God covers the desert in pools while we blister in broken waiting.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.